Double Down

I have consumed one of the most abhorrent concoctions to be conceived by fast food in a long, long time. Behold the Double Down:
A product so meaty, there was no room for a bun. I'm just gonna dive right into this behemoth of a product.

To start off, it looks a lot bigger in the ads than it really is. Granted, it's fairly dense, so that's not really a major problem. It's substantial enough that you won't really need to buy the meal to fill you up. Well, I guess that doesn't apply to a lot of guys, but it was sufficient enough to fill me without making me feel full. The chicken patties(?) are very thick, so you have to open wide to get a full bite. Swiss and Pepper Jack cheeses are included, and surprisingly, the Pepper Jack doesn't get drowned out completely. There is just a hint of spice remaining. Certainly not the full flavor of the cheese, but enough to let you know that it's there.

Bacon...why is there bacon in here? Oh yeah, because everybody loves bacon, and so they could jack the fat and sodium content as high as possible. Unfortunately, the bacon is mostly lost in the overwhelming wave of original recipe spices that assault your senses. You will taste it occasionally, and it's a delight when you do, but it's mostly a useless addition. The "Colonel's Special Sauce" seems to be Thousand Island, which I'm not particularly fond of, but blends adequately with the other flavors here.

All in all, it's a decent product. As with all fast food, it is by no means something you should eat on a regular basis. It only seems more disgusting than it really is because we are used to handling a bun, rather than directly handling the meat itself, making us feel like ancient neanderthals. Which brings me to my next point: Changes.

There are two main things I would change. The first is the chicken itself. While I was eating the sandwich (or perhaps more accurately called a chickwich?) I was worried about the grease and juices from the Original Recipe getting down my hands. How about a Crispy recipe option? That would help with the worries of juices running down my arms to drip off my elbows like spring runoff. Also, I'd like to see a different sauce in there. Maybe a nice spicy ranch to add a little oomph to the Pepper Jack?

At any rate, this is worth the price just to say you've tried it, and probably worth a second visit later on, but I do not believe this would make it into my regular-item-to-order-when-eating-out list.